Signs
by LilyBolt
Summary: He wished he had paid more attention to the signs... A oneshot taking place in the first week after Jessica's death, between the Pilot and Wendigo. Sam's POV.


**Author's Note: Just a brief glimpse at ow Dean helped Sam deal with his grief right after Jessica's death. Reviews are much appreciated!  
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**Disclaimer: Sam, Dean, Jessica, and the whole world of Supernatural are not mine. Because Erik Kripke is the amazing man who owns it all. Bless him, the Chuck of the real world. :D **

Sam lay on the motel bed, thoughts of Jessica uncontrollably flooding his mind. Her smile, her laugh, the look of horror on her face as the fire erupted around her. No! He was not going to think about that. Sam rubbed his palms into his eyes, as if doing so could somehow erase that image from his memory. But Sam knew he would never forget that moment. He knew that as long as he lived, the guilt he felt over Jessica's death would stay with him.

He wished he had paid more attention to the signs. First sign: he was a Winchester. Things never ended happily for Winchesters. His dad had lost his father, and then his wife, and his sons had lost their futures when he dragged them into hunting. But Sam had really thought he had gotten out. Sure, he still kept his kitchen stocked with salt, and he had an iron crow bar under his bed, and a pistol locked up in his closet with pure silver rounds… He wasn't foolish. But he had finally gotten away from the never ending hunt. He had gone to school, picked a career path, and found the woman of his dreams.

But all that happiness should have been giant red flag number two. Because happiness and Winchester don't belong in the same sentence, unless separated by the words "doesn't belong to a".

And then there was sign number there: Dean's arrival. His big brother shows up in the middle of the night telling him that their dad has gone missing, and drags him off on some weekend hunt/rescue mission. It wasn't that Sam wasn't glad to see Dean. Truthfully, he has missed his brother through the entirety of his time at Stanford. But when your estranged brother shows up at 2am and drags you off to hunt a ghost, you should really view it as an indication from the universe that things are about to change…and not in a good way.

Omen number four? The ghost. The freaking woman in white seemed to know what was coming! She _warned_ him that he would betray Jessica. Hurt her. And he had. By leaving, he had sealed her fate. By going off with his brother, he had left her unprotected. He had left her at the mercy of whatever creature had trapped her on the ceiling and…and... had ended her life.

Tears were brimming in Sam's eyes now. How could he have missed all the signs? How could he have let this happen… Suddenly, the sound of wheels on gravel and faint Metallica drifted through the Motel wall. Sam rubbed his eyes again, furiously attempting to cover the fact he had been crying. Just then, his brother opened the door to their room and carried in a bag full of fast food. "They didn't have that veggie crap you had wanted so I…" Dean's voice broke off as he caught sight of Sam.

Dean dropped the food on the table and quickly walked to his brother's side. "Hey." he said, kneeling down in front of the younger hunter. Sam tried not to meet his brother's eyes. "Sam, you can talk to me." Dean said in a soft but firm tone. And Sam knew he could. He knew he could tell his brother everything he was feeling. But he was afraid of what his brother would say in return. He was afraid that Dean would tell him he was right, and that he should have seen this coming. That he should have known he could never be happy for long, and that he could've saved Jessica long ago if he had just never tried to have a normal life.

Sam heard Dean begin to talk, and closed his eyes, hoping to avoid the guilt trip by not looking at the speaker. "Look, man. I know it sucks, even though I don't know how much. I mean, I can't even begin to imaging how hard this must be on you. But I can honestly say that I will give anything to help you take down the bastard that did that to her. That evil creep is gonna pay. Whoever this monster is, he messed up big time. Because the day he decided to pick on my little brother's girl, the girl he was going to have a normal life with and finally get the happiness from that he deserved, that was the day he signed his own death certificate. Because nothing will stop me from helping you take that ass-hat down. Because you deserved her Sam. And you sure as hell didn't deserve to suffer like this."

Dean went quiet then, apparently having said all he could think to say. Sam took a deep breath, and raised his gaze to meet his brother's. And in Dean's eyes, he didn't see the blame he had been dreading, or the accusation, or any judgment at all. He saw only compassion, sympathy, and love. And suddenly Sam felt better. In spite of everything, Sam believed what Dean was saying. After all, if anyone had missed an important sign, the stupid monster had. Because of all the possible indications of trouble ahead, the biggest in existence had to be messing with Dean Winchester's little brother. Yeah, the monster was basically screwed.


End file.
